for sure worth reading.. and commenting.
Chapter 11 – Dougie’s point of view
“Seriously, it is world war III over here,” I gave Kelly the details of the Tom-Harry fighting over the phone. It was the last day staying at Grande Hilton hotel and it was all bickering. Even Danny was beginning to fight, moaning about his cheeks and how he still can’t get over Vivian. Harry was lovey-dovey but the second he came out of his bathroom call, all hell broke out; starting with his waking everyone up by yelling, “you lads are shit heads.” Tom is trying to ignore Harry’s drama by reading Harry Potter and seducing me by dancing to “my humps.”
“My humps, my humps, my lovely lady lumps,” Tom came near me shaking his rump, backing up his massive ass toward me.
“It sounds like it,” she giggled back. “Is Tom singing my humps?”
I shoved Tom’s ass away from me, but that backfired, and Tom came and grabbed my nipples, massaging them like he would a girl’s. “Unfortunately,” I let out the girliest laugh ever. “Tom, stop it,” I tried to stop my girly laughing.
“Quit being such a prick to Dougie, Tom!” Harry lashed out and shoved Tom into the kitchen counter away from me. Tom just glared feeling hurt, I motioned Harry away then patted Tom on the back. It took no idiot to tell that Tom was feeling hurt from Harriet’s pmsing. I mouthed him to go finish packing, and then I would have given myself a weird a look because I was actually being mature. Me, mature? Ha.
“Glad I’m not over there,” she giggled.
“I wish I wasn’t, but I have to pack,” I sighed wondering if this would be the last we saw of Kelly. Eventually, she would have to return to the states and we were heading home.
“Gah, don’t remind me,” she huffed. “I have to find a new hotel because I forgot to phone down to the lobby and continue my stay.”
“Umm, you could. Um, yeah, stay with us,” I said in a statement instead of a question. Kelly and I (and Tom) had become good friends within the few short days we had hung out and I wasn’t quite ready to just forget her.
“Hey, hey,” Kelly stepped in to the room, giving both Tom and I a small hug.
Harry rounded into the doorway to see what the fuss was about, “get the fuck out.” Our mouths all dropped, never had we seen Harry act like such a dick.
“Dude, what’s the matter?” Danny pulled him over in the bathroom.
“Ashley is coming, I hate Kelly, I despise Tom, I think my willie shrunk, and every one is being a pain in my ass,” his hands balled into fists, and his statue with a hemorrhoid look began to pop out again.
As Harry rambled and yelled about his pathetic problems to Danny, the door bell rang. “You expecting anyone?” Tom questioned me and answered the door. Boob job. There stood Ashley; Harry’s on/off girlfriend (mostly off). Instantly, my eyes went to her fake breasts; she used to be flat as a pancake and now they were the size of basketballs. I love boobs, boobs are really awesome, in fact they’re my best friends, but hers were weird & fake and they didn’t look right on her bulimic frame.
“Ya like?” she shook her chest, looking at me. “Feel free to fondle,” she winked.
Umm yeah, right,” Tom shut the door behind her.
She stopped in the middle of the kitchen, “who the hell are you?” she pointed at Kelly. She walked over to her quickly and looked her up and down, “oh the maid; here dear hang my coat.”
Kelly let the coat fall to the ground and just looked at Ashley in an amazed way. “Wow, I didn’t know they actually put Boob Job Barbie into production,” we all smirked with a giggle. Kelly’s hot and has brains, who know that could actually be possible? Or maybe I’m just shallow or just Dougie. Yeah, pretty much just Dougie.
“Excuse me?” Ashley flipped some of her strawberry blonde hair behind her shoulder. “Tomas, Douglas, tell you’re maid to not be so bloody rude.”
“She’s not our maid,” Tom was ready to pounce on top of her.
“Don’t fucking yell at my girl friend,” Harry stepped out of the bathroom. He came over and wrapped Ashley’s waist in his arm and nibbled on her ear, then placing a peck on cheek. “Tom, go to fucking hell.”
“What a lovely room mate we have,” Danny sarcastically sat down. We were all in the hall waiting to be let into the room as Harry and Ashley had a shag.
“Yeah, quite pleasant,” Kelly joined in on the sarcasm. “Tom is something wrong?” she placed a hand on his shoulder. He sat looking down the hall with gloom in his eyes.
“Harry,” was all he had to say. We all knew what he meant by that. All day Harry has been bitching and fighting. Danny and I are 98.765% that Harry is really a female called Harriet Romana Judd and is pmsing because she stuck her tampon up her ass and is also mad because no one will fuck her because she’s a fugly female. The one way Ms. Judd can get some ass is by paying an even uglier prostitute forty pounds for each minute and sixty pounds extra for each orgasm.
“Ohhhhhh,” we heard coming from inside the room. All we could do was stare at each other and laugh. “Harder.” “Ohh that’s it!” There goes 180 calories.
“Anyone fancy an orgy in my room?” Kelly teased standing up.
“Hearing Harry’s sex or group orgy,” I weighed my options. “Geez, Kell, I don’t know, both sound so good.”
“Only if I get it in the bum,” all eyes flew to Danny who sat in a daze. “Kidding, you ‘tards.”
After Kelly got going to the lobby to get a luggage trolley, we all hopped on it and went over to her room on it. There, we all sat munching what was left of her Oreos and peanut butter, then we also ordered food from room service.
“You’re food shall be there in thirty three minutes.”
“Ok, thank you sir,” Kelly put down the phone. “Food will be here in half an hour.”
“I thought he said thirty three?” Danny managed to say with food in his mouth.
“Oh geez, I’m sorry I was off by three,” she sarcastically laughed.
“Why are your bags packed?” Tom pointed to Kelly’s luggage that I had messed up when I searched for snacks.
“I’m going home.”
Chapter 12 – Narrator
Kelly unpacked her bags in her apartment that she almost lost, but something magical came over her parents and they paid her rent for the past four months and the next five to come. She set her stack of pictures on her night stand along with her digital camera. Before she placed the digital camera down, she looked through the pictures. The first one she was of her of and the boys, she had paid Harry $20 to take the picture and another $30 to take it along with Tom. (Later, the other three paid her back, unfortunately in pounds.) Looking at her past four and a half months put a smile on her face.
She decided to look on the plus side of her experiences. She may not have gotten into the band, but she’d be getting exposure when the show aired, she made 8 great friends (3 of which made it into the band), she met four great guys, made peace with her parents, kept her apartment, her job, and got to do what she loves; sing and dance.
The McFly boys sat around their house. “I am so bored,” Dougie moaned, stuffing another Twinkie into his mouth.
“Just got a call from Kelly,” Tom walked into the family room which was covered in Twinkie wrappers, pizza boxes and rented movies. “She arrived home safe.”
“Would it be weird to say I miss her?” Danny asked the lads between shoving down a slice of pizza and drinking a corona.
“I feel the same way, dude,” Tom sat down on a pizza box, not noticing and not bothering to get off of it. Harry rolled his eyes. Since they had been back the drama did not stop. The two made peace for five hours but then it broke lose because Tom had Giovanna over while Ashley was over. Harry would set off like a bomb on any of the others whenever he “damn felt like it.”
“You lads are obsessing over a bird you barely know?” Harry scoffed at them. Tom began to say something but just figured it wasn’t worth it; he would just get attacked.
Dougie sighed, feeling sick of the constant bitching. “I’m going to bed,” he stood up, picked his wedgie and went to bed.
“Ya see what ya did, fucker Tom?!” Harry pointed a Twinkie at Tom, “you made the poor lad cry himself to sleep.”
Tom stared, “where are you getting all this crack you’re smoking?” he left the room, also feeling sick of all the drama.
“Don’t walk away from me.”
“You’re on your own this time, dude,” Danny shut the television off and the lights, following Tom up the stairs. Harry sighed, rubbing his face wondering why he was being such a dick.
“Hello?” yawned a tired Kelly.
“Hey,” Dougie, too, yawned. “Sorry to wake you.”
“Oh nah, it’s ok,” she sat up in her bed.
“I just wanted to call and make sure you got home alright,” he looked at his clock reading the time; 4:12, it was only midnight for her.
“Yeah, yeah, made it home safely. Didn’t Tom tell you?” she leaned on her head board looking at the clock.
“Must have forgotten,” he chuckled. “Goodnight,” he said.
“’Night,” Dougie felt all fuzzy inside, talking to her again.
There was a pounding on Tom’s bedroom door, “what the. Who the bloody fuck is there?” he yelped in a startled tone. The door opened making Tom feel frightened so he pulled the bed covers up above his head.
“It’s me silly,” Tom removed the sheets from his head. “I’m sorry.”
“Uhh, what?” Tom laughed confused.
“I’ve been a complete prick these past few days,” Harry sat on the end of the bed near Tom’s uncovered feet. “Sorry, mate.”
“It’s ok,” Tom nodded his head. “Just don’t go back to how you’ve been acting.”
“I don’t think I will; it was only jealousy of you and Kelly.”
The next morning no one could find Dougie. “Where is that rascal?” all of them searched every inch of their mansion.
“Hey, lads, come here,” Danny called them into Dougie’s messy bathroom. He held a note in his hands.
“Did Dougie commit suicide?!” Tom drastically yelled, stealing the note from Danny’s boney hands.
“No you dumbass,” Danny smacked the back of his head and read the letter aloud for Harry and Tom.
‘Tis me, Dougie. You probably noticed I’m not here, and if you haven’t then some mates you are. You could look all over London or the country but you won’t find me. For I am gone.
“You said he didn’t commit suicide?” Harry tried to peer at the letter but Danny held it close to him.
“Let me finish, you ‘tards,” he continued.
I have gone to see Kelly. She doesn’t know, so please don’t tell her. I would like to surprise her. I really like her. Kelly, Kelly, Kelly. Kelly and Dougie, doesn’t it just ring? (You lads do realize I’m just rambling on now, I’ve heard runaway notes are really long)
“He ran away?!” Tom and Harry spazzed in unison, Danny rolled his eyes and continued again.
Kidding you losers, can’t believe you think I would run away. (Scary that I knew how you were going to react, eh? Danny told me you would.)
“You knew?!” Tom smacked his head.
“Ouch, you dick,” Danny rubbed his head. “Quit abusing me.”
Back to the point of this, I went to see Kelly. I think I might love her, and I’m going to rescue her and bring her here were we shall shag like royalty. Except she’d probably smack when I ask her to shag; but we will be together. I want her. Badly. I bought you boys tickets to go but I didn’t wake you for your flight. Opps, sorry, lads. See you when I return, if I do. It all depends on what Kelly & I want. (By the way, there is another flight at 8, but I’m pretty sure you all slept in and have now missed the last flight to New York for the next week. My planning is superior. Mwhaha.)
(PS, Don’t eat my Twinkies.)
(PSS, Don’t miss me too much.)
(PSSS If I die on my flight to America please let me be buried with my hands on a fit pair of breast.)